Your opinion of me has nothing to do with me, that is about you and NONE of my business. How does that sit with you? Do you feel attacked? Does it feel personal? That's because it is, very personal.
Additionally, my idea of who you are, is simply a reflection of me. How does that idea feel? Less weighty? They are the same, just a shift of perspective. We are mirrors to each other. What sets me off in what you say and your behavior, is about me. And vis versa. What a lesson.
You know that person that makes you so irritated? Irks you? Really triggers deep feelings inside of you? They can sometimes even create a reaction from you that you don't often show. That person is showing you where you need to bring your attention to within yourself. They are mirroring your shadow self. They are gifting you the opportunity to turn inward and love yourself. Wild, right? and uncomfortable.
Your shadow self is a part of you that has become separated from your conscious mind. As you become aware of yourself from an early age shame, trauma and/or fear cause you to place who you are into categories of good and bad. The "bad" are undesirable aspects of yourself that you have learned aren't acceptable causing you to hide them and not allow others to see that vulnerability and imperfectness. That you aren't safe if these are shown to the world.
Until the shadow self is reintegrated it will undermine, sabotage and conflict with your conscious desires, positive feelings and even self love. When you are fighting the triggers that others have lit inside of you, you are also fighting your true self. The shadow must first be seen and acknowledged without blame or judgment. Using people that trigger you as your guide, write down all the things that they do, say and actions that set you off. then find those aspects in yourself. See yourself fully and completely, allow your story with the deepest hurts be heard and felt.
The next step to unveiling your shadow is understanding and forgiveness, this will bring true healing. even if in small layers. The healing never stops and will continue in cycles until you are ready for the reintegration. Please know, you are always whole, hiding and covering all that you are makes life more difficult to navigate. Just one small movement towards acknowledging your shadows, is shifting to remembering you are enough, as is.
Integration doesn’t happen instantly or easily. Every person’s journey of healing will be absolutely unique, and if you proceed with love and compassion towards yourself and others, the healing will take place one step at a time. You've got this and I'm happy to support you on this journey of remembering.
Cheers to Wellness!