Awakening of A Shattered Soul

Featured Writer, Mel Badger

It’s funny how the human mind can create such extreme denial in certain situations. For nearly seven years I was in denial that cancer would kill my mother, yet, at 59, she was gone. Even when she finally sat me down and said, “Mel, there’s nothing more we can do. I’m dying.“ , I still could not accept it.

I couldn’t even bring myself to help her with basic and not so basic things towards the end of her life. Because doing this, doing things for her that I never had to do before would be like accepting the inevitable. Taking care of the one person who has taken care of me my whole life, just seemed wrong. And on top of all of this, my mother, who was raised as a strict, devout Christian, who would never even think of believing anything taboo, or woo-woo, was adamant that I was given the gift of healing. And she knew this wasn’t a gift I had received from God to heal her, but this was my life’s purpose for others as well as myself.

Looking back, I now know that as she was approaching death, she was receiving divine messages that took me years to understand. And these messages are why I’m here, writing this today. My mother passed on to the next life in the early morning hours of March 29, 2011. I held her hand. I said goodbye.

I forever changed.

Between that day till 2018, I have very little memory. It was seven years of darkness, just getting by, going thru the motions of every day life without my best friend. A blur. Then, after months of my friend Alexis begging me to join her yoga class, I finally gave in to appease her. As I entered the building, it was as if I had been there before. It was such a familiar setting.