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Awakening of A Shattered Soul

Featured Writer, Mel Badger

It’s funny how the human mind can create such extreme denial in certain situations. For nearly seven years I was in denial that cancer would kill my mother, yet, at 59, she was gone. Even when she finally sat me down and said, “Mel, there’s nothing more we can do. I’m dying.“ , I still could not accept it.

I couldn’t even bring myself to help her with basic and not so basic things towards the end of her life. Because doing this, doing things for her that I never had to do before would be like accepting the inevitable. Taking care of the one person who has taken care of me my whole life, just seemed wrong. And on top of all of this, my mother, who was raised as a strict, devout Christian, who would never even think of believing anything taboo, or woo-woo, was adamant that I was given the gift of healing. And she knew this wasn’t a gift I had received from God to heal her, but this was my life’s purpose for others as well as myself.

Looking back, I now know that as she was approaching death, she was receiving divine messages that took me years to understand. And these messages are why I’m here, writing this today. My mother passed on to the next life in the early morning hours of March 29, 2011. I held her hand. I said goodbye.

I forever changed.

Between that day till 2018, I have very little memory. It was seven years of darkness, just getting by, going thru the motions of every day life without my best friend. A blur. Then, after months of my friend Alexis begging me to join her yoga class, I finally gave in to appease her. As I entered the building, it was as if I had been there before. It was such a familiar setting.

As the class began, I felt so much hurt, bitterness, and resentment just melt away. Things became so clear. I knew each pose as if I’d done them a million times before, yet before this moment, I had never even set foot on a yoga mat. It was strange and beautiful. A few months after that first class, the instructor approached me to ask if I’d be interested in getting certified to be a Reiki practitioner. Its as if she was receiving a divine message as well. I knew a little about Reiki, but once the thought of learning to practice came to mind, it hit me. It hit me like a ton of bricks. This is what my mother meant! This is the message she was receiving!

This was it!

After years of thinking she was suffering from “chemo brain” every time she brought up the subject, everything was becoming clear. And after my attunement, other things became clear. I remembered things, things I had buried down deep, like the voices I constantly heard as a kid weren’t just made up voices, they were astonishingly beautiful spirits who were trying to talk to me, to guide me. For so many years I had shut them out, pretending that it was all just my imagination. And as I moved along with my journey, practicing and being attuned to each level of Reiki, and becoming a certified yoga instructor, amazing things began to happen. And they’re still happening every day!

So now, as I simply flow lovingly thru this existence, I can see the truth in love, in life, in miracles, in non-attachment. Outwardly, I dedicate my practice and my business to the memory of my mother. The memory of the exquisite human being she was here on earth. But inwardly, she is not just a memory. She is here. She’s my guide. She is in me.

To all of you reading this today, I can’t express to you enough to follow your heart, follow your intuition and the intuition of those around you, follow the urges of your soul. We are all here for only a moment to learn and to love. We have all been blessed with gifts and abilities. Don’t ignore them.

Melanie Badger is a wife and mother of 3, a practicing Reiki Master and Teacher as well as a certified yoga instructor, running her own holistic business out of Millbury, Ohio called Peace Love & Reiki by Melanie.

Melanie A. Badger

Certified Reiki Master & Teacher

Certified Yoga Instructor

Peace Love & Reiki By Melanie

23130 West Trowbridge Road

Millbury, OH 43447


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