Through much practice, I have learned most of my healing journey has been about unlearning my patterns of self-protection that kept me safe.
I've learned that my healing comes with taking responsibility and realizing that it is me and no one else that creates my thoughts, feelings, and actions.
I am finding self-forgiveness and self acceptance. By acknowledging what I am judging, blaming and shaming in myself, I am shifting into a higher emotional understanding. When I make these choices of judgment, blame or shame I am coming from a place of hurt.
I now know that I am doing the best I can and in the past I was only able to work with the tools I had.
Dear Young Rebecca,
You are absolutely not broken, you're beautiful and gifted. It’s not your fault when other people treat you badly or project their energy at you, you are a child and never responsible for the way that adults act.
How you feel matters, you deserve to be seen, your anger and sadness are valid, what you have to say is important. I see you, you are strong and courageous and brilliant.
I'm sorry that you went through such difficult things. That path was uneven and rocky.
I'm sorry that you made choices that hurt you. The hurt is deep and authentic.
I'm sorry that you believed that you were unworthy. It feels overwhelming.
I’m sorry I didn’t know how to save you when you got lost.
I’m sorry I didn’t know how to protect you.
I’m sorry I didn’t know how to love you.
I am sorry I abandoned you when you needed me most.
I’m sorry I wasn’t aware of the truth while I was you.
The truth is that you are ABUNDANTLY ENOUGH, just as you are, and you don’t have to send your life proving it.
You are Exquisite and Fierce and Astonishing.
In honor of you, I promise to continue dedicating my life in nurturing and living that profound and unlimiting truth.
I want you to know that you made the choices you did, with the feelings and limited experience that you had at the time. That you did your best with what you knew.
I’m taking over now, a new chapter has begun, you do not need to live with fear or guilt.
I promise you that I will take care of your needs with gentleness and I will reassure you any time you feel unsafe.
We're in this together. You are safe. You are not alone.
I love you.